Proud to be a Black Man's Daughter...
Monday, October 26, 2009
Jersey's Gil!
I’m from Jersey!! I’ve always been proud of that fact…regardless of people’s perceptions about the Garden State or where I live on the planet today, New Jersey will forever be my home. Granted, in contrast to the images a “garden” creates” Jersey isn’t known for much more then the mob, corrupt and/or gay politicians, racist State troopers, car jackings, chemical plants, and the weird ass people living in Tom’s River…but it’s still Home to me!!!
And I represent New Jersey wherever I go. When I was in Europe this summer and people asked where in America I am from, I always responded with pride…I live in Washington, DC but I am FROM New Jersey!!!! Throughout the North East, Jersey doesn’t get much love and respect…we’re always lurking in the shadows of our bigger, brighter, and louder brother…New York…but believe me when I tell you, New Jersey can and always has held its own…do you hear me, Jersey “ain’t” no punk!!!
Which brings me to my point…I am often accused of being to abrasive, too in your face, too ready to rumble with anyone who tries to play me…and it almost always is associated with my “being from Jersey.” Make no mistake, I don’t have one single apology to offer to those people who feel the way they do about my personality and I most definitely won’t deny that it’s reflective of my true Garden blue New Jersey upbringing. Like my State, I’ve been underestimated, misunderstood, and misjudged more times then I can count. People have always assumed that because I was small (in size) –like New Jersey--that I was also small in ability. But growing up in Jersey was the boot camp I credit for developing the skills and characteristics I needed to successfully navigate my way in this world. Don’t sleep on small…it just means that its less of a load to carry when we are trying to get it all done!!!
There is much to be said about the lessons learned on those concrete pavements, from those racist ass cops, and sitting in class with those mafia kids LOL!! My childhood wasn’t easy, but I wouldn’t trade it for the world! Say what you want about my State but know this…wherever we go we stick together, loyalty to someone and something is paramount and we take shyt that seriously. Having to be tough in order to make it out of Jersey was probably the one thing that I am grateful for the most. I didn’t leave Jersey and refuse to look back…every day I represent Jersey to the fullest. While people all over the world are wishing they grew up in a different place and with a different set of experiences I remain thankful because without Jersey I’d be a whole ‘nother Roycee.
A Jersey Girl is who I am and there is nothing else I’d rather be!!!
Peace and Blessings,
Roycee
And I represent New Jersey wherever I go. When I was in Europe this summer and people asked where in America I am from, I always responded with pride…I live in Washington, DC but I am FROM New Jersey!!!! Throughout the North East, Jersey doesn’t get much love and respect…we’re always lurking in the shadows of our bigger, brighter, and louder brother…New York…but believe me when I tell you, New Jersey can and always has held its own…do you hear me, Jersey “ain’t” no punk!!!
Which brings me to my point…I am often accused of being to abrasive, too in your face, too ready to rumble with anyone who tries to play me…and it almost always is associated with my “being from Jersey.” Make no mistake, I don’t have one single apology to offer to those people who feel the way they do about my personality and I most definitely won’t deny that it’s reflective of my true Garden blue New Jersey upbringing. Like my State, I’ve been underestimated, misunderstood, and misjudged more times then I can count. People have always assumed that because I was small (in size) –like New Jersey--that I was also small in ability. But growing up in Jersey was the boot camp I credit for developing the skills and characteristics I needed to successfully navigate my way in this world. Don’t sleep on small…it just means that its less of a load to carry when we are trying to get it all done!!!
There is much to be said about the lessons learned on those concrete pavements, from those racist ass cops, and sitting in class with those mafia kids LOL!! My childhood wasn’t easy, but I wouldn’t trade it for the world! Say what you want about my State but know this…wherever we go we stick together, loyalty to someone and something is paramount and we take shyt that seriously. Having to be tough in order to make it out of Jersey was probably the one thing that I am grateful for the most. I didn’t leave Jersey and refuse to look back…every day I represent Jersey to the fullest. While people all over the world are wishing they grew up in a different place and with a different set of experiences I remain thankful because without Jersey I’d be a whole ‘nother Roycee.
A Jersey Girl is who I am and there is nothing else I’d rather be!!!
Peace and Blessings,
Roycee
Friday, October 02, 2009
Letter to Roycee!
It’s been a minute since I’ve taken to my alter ego. Life has been so full of joy that I think I became overwhelmed with it all. I took some time for a lot of introspective travels, not just around the world, but mostly into the depths of me. For so long I desired to be different, better, and in so many ways more comfortable and confident in His divinely designed purpose, despite the fear of its mystery…and while I am not exactly sure if I was successful in the mastering of me, I am certain that I have returned with less apprehension for living my life and much more commitment and faith in what awaits on this path that is unfolding with every forward step I take.
Of course I never forgot you, Royce’s Daughter! I kept you close to me in spirit and carried you everyday in my heart. I prayed that you would be forgiving upon my return, and I hoped that you would accept that my departure was not a reflection of my feelings for you, merely a necessary journey to explore the emerging pieces of me. I’ve learned to laugh a little harder, smile a little brighter, and believe it or not I’ve even learned to cry with a little less shame because now that I am free I can more naturally embrace the dark places of the past that once haunted me…for they are not my future!
Roycee, you know all my secrets, you’ve been there through all my struggles, and you’ve helped me hide my tears more times that I can count. But now I stand before you, renewed and standing firm in the promise of love…love of myself and my unconditional love of you as well. No longer afraid to admit my mistakes, to call out for help, or to reveal those moments when I am at my most vulnerable, for it is in those moments that I know I will need you the most.
So it is with a pure and humble heart that I come to you, praying that we can once again reunite through the words of life and love, to learn and grow together as we walk forward out of the darkness of the past and into the bright light of a prosperous future.
…It’s good to be back!!!
Love,
Me
Of course I never forgot you, Royce’s Daughter! I kept you close to me in spirit and carried you everyday in my heart. I prayed that you would be forgiving upon my return, and I hoped that you would accept that my departure was not a reflection of my feelings for you, merely a necessary journey to explore the emerging pieces of me. I’ve learned to laugh a little harder, smile a little brighter, and believe it or not I’ve even learned to cry with a little less shame because now that I am free I can more naturally embrace the dark places of the past that once haunted me…for they are not my future!
Roycee, you know all my secrets, you’ve been there through all my struggles, and you’ve helped me hide my tears more times that I can count. But now I stand before you, renewed and standing firm in the promise of love…love of myself and my unconditional love of you as well. No longer afraid to admit my mistakes, to call out for help, or to reveal those moments when I am at my most vulnerable, for it is in those moments that I know I will need you the most.
So it is with a pure and humble heart that I come to you, praying that we can once again reunite through the words of life and love, to learn and grow together as we walk forward out of the darkness of the past and into the bright light of a prosperous future.
…It’s good to be back!!!
Love,
Me
